“On Second Thought” is a weekly feature in the Deseret News that takes a lighthearted look at current events. This is the laboratory where I put them together each week. Let me know what you think, and please add some of your own through comments, Twitter, Facebook or email if you have any funny ideas.
| | North Korea says it’s planning to test fire another missile soon. Ships in the Yellow Sea and the Sea of Japan are passing out baseball mitts to crew members, just in case it comes their way. ❑ ❑ ❑ The launch comes eight months after the nation’s last attempt, which failed miserably. Apparently, rubber bands are in short supply in Pyongyang. ❑ ❑ ❑ Something called Allegiant Air has announced it will soon begin nonstop service between Provo and Mesa, Ariz. That’s good news for Provo. What basketball fans down there really need, however, is nonstop service from Chicago on something called Jabari Parker Air. ❑ ❑ ❑ Parker is the nation’s No. 1 college basketball prospect, who also happens to be a member of the LDS Church. If there were no NBA, imagine what this would mean for someone’s ward team in a few years. ❑ ❑ ❑ Steinersports.com has auctioned off the uniform Don Larsen wore when he pitched a perfect game in the 1956 World Series for $756,000. If anyone’s interested, I have a sweater I wore one day when I made no spelling errors. ❑ ❑ ❑ Coming soon from Hollywood: The thrilling story of a runaway train heading for a cliff with only politicians onboard. ❑ ❑ ❑ In the movie’s climax, one faction argues that the solution is for the train to reform the menu in the diner and cut costs, while the other side thinks first-class fares ought to be higher. ❑ ❑ ❑ Disaster is averted at the last minute as the train collides with a car driven by Thelma and Louise. ❑ ❑ ❑ The fiscal cliff debate took an odd turn last week when Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid compared Republicans to the New York Jets. “Who is the quarterback?” he asked. Quarterback? In Congress, the ball hasn’t moved for so long it’s out of air. ❑ ❑ ❑ Meanwhile, fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars and Kansas City Chiefs should be outraged. If any politician wants to compare Congress to a bad football team, they should be at the top of the list. ❑ ❑ ❑ It’s a testament to the faith of the American people that they keep buying Christmas gifts as if the Mayan apocalypse wasn’t looming on Dec. 21. ❑ ❑ ❑ Actually, Mayan calendars do not show the world ending on Dec. 21. That’s just the start of a 10-day countdown until politicians hurl themselves into political oblivion. |
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